If you haven’t read yesterday’s post, I suggest you do so here. This might make a lot more sense if you have!
Yesterday’s “Putting everything in the grave” turned into an interesting, on-going activity for me. I wrote a lot down on my worksheets but then had a lot more occurring to me during the day.
But overall, despite the fear that things may not resurrect on the third day, there was a freeing sense of being blank, being free to re-write the story of my life.
When we are able to hold everything in our lives with an open hand, not being attached to them staying around or staying as they are, not attached to the outcomes we want (easier said than done, I grant you!), we free up the Divine to truly paint a bigger picture for our lives than we can, a more beautiful one, a more fulfilling one.
It’s a human crux that we all fall in to. We think something, someone, some outcome, will bring security, peace, happiness, safety, success. And even if they seem to, while we’re clinging to those things in a “have-to-have-it” way, we’re never actually free to feel secure, peaceful, happy, safe or successful. This is because all of those things we want – the security, the peace etc – are actually things we get within, from connection to the Divine. Nothing we can cling to can actually provide those things.
The beauty here is that when we trust the universe to be on our side, to be loving, to be ultimately safe, we don’t cling even to the Divine, because the experience of those feelings, which comes through the deep, internal connection to the Divine, provides them in abundance.
I know this can sound a bit too woo-woo and crazy. But it’s part of why I’m such an advocate of meditation practices. It has been my experience that the more stillness in which I sit, the more open I become to seeing and experiencing love, all around me, everywhere. And in that experience of love, I find fear dissipates, peacefulness comes naturally, I feel innately safe and the only success that matters is how well I give love to others.
It’s truly beautiful.
But what has it got to do with our Challenge?
Today is a day of blankness. In the Easter story, we don’t hear much about this day, except that all Jesus followers, who’d just watched the one person they thought would save them, kinda willingly get killed, and so they seem to have sat around together, just kinda confused and shaken.
I imagine they asked things like:
Were we all fooled, was it a con?
Was this meant to happen or did it take Jesus by surprise?
What do we do now?
Can we still believe in what we’ve learned, seen, come to believe?
It’s a massive, unstable questioning of all they thought they knew.
Being able to sit in the uncertain questions is a great skill that is SO hard. Perhaps this is why it was just one day!
In our Challenge, we will be spending today noticing our use of the things we listed yesterday, noticing our engagement with the people we listed, looking for what we believe about these important things in our lives. We’ll be noticing what they mean, what they are “saving” us from. We will acknowledge our emotional attachment, our “need” for them.
I have created a worksheet to help you with this. It contains numerous outlines of a person (ie you), and as the day goes on, and you consciously question your real reason for finding importance and significance in the things of your life, you can draw them on to these blank out lines. This will help keep you aware of all the ways we reach for something to “save” us.
Here’s my first example of the day:
At points through the day, particularly when you become aware of something you are really using to “save” you, put it on there.
There’s also a mantra today, a prayer to offer up with every awareness of your clinging to something that saves you:
I ask that I not be fooled into trusting a saviour of my own making. Show me truly what I need, and what must be let go, in order to live for the highest good of myself and the world.
And so we sit, in the middle day, and wait and watch and ponder.
That is Easter Saturday.